When I Learned to Stand Alone!....
Mostly
every day I used to get up in the morning and the first thing to do was wish
everyone a good morning, ask people how they were and wish them a good day. Sometimes
this was done at noon too, as mostly I get up late. To those in different time
zone of course I wish differently. Other than the routine house work it was
mostly the same. As a result there was a lot of free time; since I had quite my
old job. Looking at different options was the only thing that I had left to do.
That was not something enjoyable especially since I got really easy I got a
hold of Indeed App it’s really nice and easy to use.
What
do I do with the rest of the day? That includes feeding my fish and birds, take
care of my plants, then take a look around and maybe pot a few plants and sit
on the couch thinking as writing was a hobby thinking was an important part the
daily routine, then there was a lot scrolling through Facebook, looking at
birthday, make happy birthday videos for some special friends maybe. Well that
is about it. A little later anyone get fed up, naturally! So did I
I am sure some of you can relate when you have
nothing to do all day and you just keep scrolling through social media,
watching videos plan to start a channel soon and make it a huge hit. This goes
on and on and on.
This
is when my texting starts gain. I was doing nothing, so my friends should be
able to reach out to me at least once a day or maybe at least once a week. To
be honest I used to test people; I text then and see if they at least text me
the next day. They should at least start the conversation once in a while. I
wait for that get desperate and text them.
I was lowering my self-esteem; I didn’t know that till I got out of the box.
You don’t need people to talk to always. Its not that they can’t or they won’t.
Its just that when you love doing something you keep doing it. You Love your
job you will be good at it.
You just need to be Ok. Not Ok with yourself;
Not Ok with others doing what they are doing; Not Ok to stand alone; you
need to be Ok to do something that you dream about so that you are not talking
about one day, you will be on a path that excites for you. A path that makes
you feel like doing more of it, more of different things than wait, wish and
worry. When you are on this path you will feel a peaceful need to grow, a drive
towards perfection, and an understand of what is the meaning of “Being OK” and
the difference of the Ok said to friends so that will stay away from some
topics.
I
was so obsessed with talking that, I didn’t pay attention to anything. But then
getting out of this cycle was by passing through a partial addiction. One day I
downloaded Tik-Tok I was quite shy and was sure to be bad at it. So since I had
nothing to do, was down mentally and felt like I had nothing to loose.
It is really a really bad concept to keep as a source of confidence but that
sometimes helps, But be careful about it.
I downloaded Tik-Tok and did a video
and got a few like, 5 to be exact. I put it as my status and people started
texting me that was something that rarely happens. This got me really happy and
did more videos. This was a happy feeling to be appreciated, rare as I hardly
did anything, and I blamed other for it to. This appreciation was so huge that
it was intoxicating I wanted more of it. The habit grew so fast that I was in
Tik-Tok 24x7. Then I was unaware of the fact that addiction was starting and
has partly taken over. This went on for three or four week, I could hardly keep
track of time. I thought this is was it feels like when you are actually doing
something with your life, that I was one a great path. That was so terribly
wrong.
.
I will do videos, people see then and follow me, I follow then, that was all
that was happening I was hardly growing as a person I was not getting confident
I only did videos when no one was looking. I could hardly ask someone to take a
video for me. I was not growing.
I will not say that everyone in Tik-Tok is addicted to it and it is a waste of
time there are many out there who productively use Tik-Tok as a productive
platform. I just wasn’t like that and was addicted to it.
If you are confused if you are one the right path or not just think from the
beginning; What changed? What is the next step? Is life a small circle with you
at the centre? Are seeing room for healthy you growing other than just
repetition? If you are wondering about the right answer, when you completed
answering these questions, you might want to consider taking help. Which I did,
and was really fun, getting help does mean you are mad. I just means you are
not an egoistic jerk.
The
way I figured out that I had an addiction was quite a something, It won’t feel
like much but still, One day I was gardening and I felt the urge to stop it in
mid-way and go do a video as the look that I was in was right for doing a
certain topic video. That is when I started to feel like I am having an
addiction. Unable to resist that urge I washed my hand took up the phone did
the video and came out. But by the time I was done it started raining I
couldn’t finish my work.
It’s only when it hits where it hurts that you pay attention to anything, in
most of the cases. My garden my birds my fish are the world to me, so when I
was not able to gardening right, it hurt. Then I understood my father was
saying all along I was getting addicted. People outside the box see a better
picture. That is outside the box matters, because what you do at the end goes
to society, so make sure to keep an eye on the big picture. Don’t let society
discourage you from doing something good but make sure that you are doing good
and setting a good example.
For example getting help like counseling is
something society stares at. Do yourself a favor, and you stop doing it. One
person stops doing it and one less audients that result in one less
conversation. When something goes out of habit, bad habits disappear.
I
knew I had an addition but that is not the fault of the app or platform so I
found a way around it. I zipped the app saving memory whenever I get time and I
want to do a video I unzip it I log in and do the video, thus making it less
addictive. Every problem, every addiction is a habit that needs handling, that
handling is called help nothing else.
To
find a path to follow that gives hope and joy, that helps you feel right or to
put it simply “OK”. To find that path is really hard and simple at the same
time the hard side gives strength the simple side gives innovation to complicated
ideas. That the turn to the right path and you will know what is next what is
joy and what is OK.
