When I walked out Those Doors..! Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Drive By the Sun Set!

            As the car moved alongside the sunset Kevin had no idea what was happening. He sat with his seat belt strap down and holding a stiff posture. He curled in his lips and biting down his lips. Slightly tensed his through was running dry. Geetha had a slight smile on her face. She knew exactly what was happening inside her sons head. She glanced at him from time to time seeing that she knew her son well brought up her proud smile; she had the right side curled up like a smile and left side straight she was holding down her laugh so in addition to all that she was also biting her lip down slightly, with her left eye brow up and her right down, she held her proud thought for a while. “Ok, I can’t hold it ok!” said Kevin, “You know I don’t like suspense much, I panic and I make a seen….”

            “You will have to wait, my little bacha…. If I say what we are going to do you will have too many assumptions by the time we get there. It’s a 30 minute drive, Let’s see what your  not that bad an imagination can do.”

            “Maa, Seriously you need to stop doing this mystical teacher that teaches through experience and all that, I mean seriously, what has gotten into you? You are acting really odd since…..”; “Ya since you made hell rain fire on your room; Ya didn’t you find it odd that you where behaving like that and I was quite ok with it….?”
“Please don’t freak me out; I am on the tip of a cliff right now, form last night OK!”

“Yes I found that odd.”, said Kevin gasping.

“And?” asked Geetha smiling.

“I found it odd that you are giving me a hard love course and not loving lessons lecture” said Kevin curiously hoping for a clarification.

“I am Sure you have heard, that is channeling your emotions towards something productive, Like, talking sense into you, when you fight you can do the same thing into your senses first and then into your fist, which means imagine think and execute!” explained Geetha in an enlightened tone

            Kevin with a frown and an anxious mind asked, “Ok yesterday you told me the first lesson of a martial artist, now you are taking about fighting seriously where did you learn all that. Please tell me the whole story and where on earth are we heading we are way passed the city limits all I see are trees”

“Aren’t they beautiful in this golden lighting” Geetha interrupted

“Yes! Yes they are…. Now please tell me where we are going and how do you know all there mystical enlightened talks. For your information Real Martial arts classes we are taught to kick punch jump block, I have heard this calling but I was taught to channel anger into fists to get power , Not all this non sense and that always works!......”

“Why were you angry again!..” Exclaimed Geetha with her eye brows up.

Kevin remained of his defeat in the arena last day and walking out the doors of the stadium got really worked up. But he took a deep breath, held it in for a while and breathed out. Looking out the car window and squeezing the door handle he trying to fallow in his mother’s footsteps. “Channel your emotions not just the anger not into you head not into your mind to talk in there and curse others, Think forward in time use that pleasant view to gain control ; ‘What do you want to do next?’;  I believe in you dear, you can do it”

Kevin looking at the golden trees and evening sky; the setting sun on the other side, started to try what his mother told him to do. He looked at his mother in the background of the sun, looked straight ahead and said, “I don’t know exactly; But I was thinking of going abroad for my graduation and post-graduation may be try IELTS, maybe…. I am looking into that, What do you think”

“I am glad you have thought about it, what you have cooked up is not a bad Idea we will see what we can do. So you were planning on going for coaching classes soon?” Geetha’s clam voice was so sweet in the moment.

“Mmm yes I wanted you both together when I presented this, That is why I was waiting, and haven’t told you till now!”

“Mmm ok we will discuss together then let Holt the topic for now.”

“But wait you still did tell me where learned all that mystical martial arts talk, I seriously need to know tell me at least that. Please tell me! That can’t all be from Jacky Chan and Bruce Lee movies”

“Your father and I fell in Love at a Martial Art school exhibition match, we even fought”

“SAY WHAT NOW! Your bluffing right you can’t be serious, You two Martial Arts Fighters. No Way!”

“MM hmm!” Geetha without a slight change in her smile kept driving on.

When I walked out Those Doors..! Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Next Morning

            The next morning Kevin woke up to an alarm at 5 in the morning, “Maa, why is the alarm set to 5am?” “Because you Maa gets up every day at 5am” Replied Geetha as if that is no big deal.

            “Get to work you have a lot of work to complete get started today itself, now itself, you have to be ready for school on time to, just because this is your last working day before the holidays doesn’t mean you get to be late. Up up up up…” said Geetha while making her side of the bed, “Make your side of the bed when you are up and of, I mean now!”

            ‘Am I dreaming? Maa is never Like that, she never tries the hard love thing with me. She just asks me to do something and doesn’t stop until I do it in a very lovable and sweet way. What in the world happen? Is it ME? OK! Let me just stop here, I think I am going crazy. Take a Deep breath and I am of.’ Got up made his bed, brushed his teeth, washed up and froze. I hit him how this happen just the other day. What he did today in about 15 20 minutes usually take at least an hour after 7 to 12 nagging by Geetha. “What did she do to me” ‘Oops! My mind voice leaked out’

            Kevin walked up to his room sorted the broken and the not broken stuff arranged some of them went thought all the broken once, “That’s a relief nothing is broken that a bit of glue can fix!...”

“Breakfast is ready.” called out Geetha from the kitchen. Kevin ran down, the way he always does when food is being served. He had some breakfast told her the state of his room. When he was almost done, he smiled and thank you, like he always did, finished up his meal washed up and went off to school. Though something about his mother’s behavior that bothered him, he was sure that she would fix the rest of the room by the time he would reach back.

            Done with his class for the time reached home so happy that he was going to get a full one and half moth of holidays plus his room would be fixed now he was at a super high. Knocked on the door, Geetha opened the door with bright wide smile, she was look tired. Kevin was certain that she was cleaning his room. But to his surprise, it was just that way he left it. But instead found a suite case that was packed. He unpacked his back pack changed freshened up changed and sat down at the dining table. He usually has spent time with Geetha there around 5:30 every day, school or no school if they are home they spent time together having a snack with tea. “Maa does love to cook” said Kevin, “And I am pretty good at it too, ..” smiled Geetha and said “… I Know!..” ‘Oops mind voice leaked out again’

Geetha walked toward the table with two cups of hot tea a few hot samosas. Kept them on the table sat down an look at Kevin they both smiled at each other took their cup of tea, Kevin look through the corner of his eye as he tilted the cup towards him and moved his head towards the cup, at his mother; she wasn’t drinking she was look at him. The hot coffee flashed through his mind. He stopped looked up blew over gently sipped little by little. “It is something else to see the sun set with a cup of steaming tea; especially when with family.  That is why I enjoy this, what about you why do you like spending time here.” asked Kevin to Geetha quite curiously. ”We sit here every day at the dine look through the glass door right bide the table at the sun set. Even though it’s not into the sea, this sight is quite a beautiful spectacle. But don’t think that is why we sit here, I know you and dad says that family is the most important of all, and you don’t keep friends aside as well. How is there so much balance, how do you do this? How do you create this harmony?”

“You are asking a lot of questions today, what fired you up. Usually dad or I start the conversation and you slowly move in. What got into you?” asked Geetha. Kevin sat there with a calm smile and a curious heart. Geetha continued, “I guess you are growing us. Everything we do is a lesson everything we see has something to tell us. Even if you already know the meaning of the words and heard the exact same sentence if you listen carefully there is always something new to learn.” Geetha explained, she turned slightly and looked at the sun. Then she continued, “You lost control when you lost yesterday, that-to to an extend that you trashed your room. Isn’t your first lesson control in the arts, Self-control. Other than the exercises you learn to control right from your breath to the way your body moves in force or at ease.”

“I guess that is proof…” said Kevin in a depressed voice “…that I am not at all a Kung-Fu student, if I don’t even know the first thing…..But wait how do you know that that is the 1^st lesson? “ Geetha smiled and said I have packed you bag take it a come down take any books that you might need if you have any assignment to complete when you get back to school after you holiday.”

“But Maa where are we Going?”

“You will find out soon enough!”

When I walked out Those Doors..! Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Everything starts from Home where The Heart is!

            “What happen, what’s all the noise!” exclaimed Geetha to her 17year old son runing into his room. “Kevin what happen in here why did you trash your room……?”

“Maa, can you please not shout!!!..”
“If you can do this in your room, I can shout.” Said Geetha with her usual face; left eye brows up, smiling with right side of her lip slightly bent up and her chin slightly up as if she was proud of something she did.

            “I am not exactly in the right mood for laughing at that express and you counter joke like dialogs!” exclaimed Kevin bighting his teeth together, stating at a very low volume end at the level of a shout.

            “Can you please for the sake of the girl you will introduce to me soon tell me what is on your mind?”
“Why don’t you come with me and sit on the couch have cup of coffee and we will talk, ok?” Kevin pulled back his head slightly with a curious frown thinking, ‘How on earth is she so calmly handling me breaking every single thing that can be broke in my room?’

            Kevin walk down stares a few minutes after his mother went down, when he reached about half way through the second and last flight of stairs he could see her siting on the couch holding her cup of coffee, with steam slowing flying up, she gently blow over the coffee took  breath in and took a sip. There was another cup waiting for him in front of her. As he walked down further and almost reached the last step the energizing aroma of coffee slowly reached out to him. He took a deep breath in, let it go slowly and walked to ward his mother waiting very patiently.

He sat down, curled in his lips bit them down, took a deep breath and reached for his cup. He looked at the cup and smiled, that was his mother’s favorite cup. It said, “PROPERTY of Geetha; You have been Warned!”

            He took a sip there was total silence, he waited for a while, took another sip. ‘Still waiting on that lecture maa’ Kevin thought to himself.  “Look maa” started Kevin suddenly standing up “I lost my chance to get in to state level kung-Fu tournament. I didn’t even reach the finals or the semi-finals and loose. That’s right! I lost in the first round qualifiers itself!”  She sat there still taking small sips of the coffee; Kevin didn’t stop he just went on, saying how he fought how much he had practiced what his dream of becoming a great martial artist was so on and on and on.

Then when he finally calmed down he gasped for air sat down took a mouth full of coffee. It was hot, “don’t you dare spit!” said Geetha in her very effective commanding voice.
Kevin helplessly “Mmmmm…!” pushing out his eyes and eye brows up.

            “Look up slightly open your mouth make sure you don’t spill out the coffee and gradually blow out  through your mouth, Careful don’t let your lungs drink any of that” said Geetha. Kevin pushed out his eyes even more and frowned. ‘How can anyone do that” Kevin though. Geetha took in a mouth full and showed, you are supposed to be a martial arts fighter, to quote your own words. Now Do it!

Kevin tried and to his surprise he could do it, he was able to drink it. Well to his darn luck he became too confident and did it again, you can guess what happen next……

After a lot of coughing, hot coffee coming through his nose and lot of gasps of air he finally calmed down. He look at his mother’s face, she had a small smile on her face. He couldn’t hold it in either, and the both of them started laughing.

            After dinner Kevin said, “Maa I am sorry for the mess in my room, I will fix everything I can. The rest I will find out how to and fix it there after…”; “Until then we will share the bed in my room, You father will be here only after a few week, Even if you are not done by then We will sleep like we used to when you were an year old” Geetha interrupted.

All I can Say Is Life will Find A way!......

All I can Say Is Life will Find A way!......

Hai you ok? You seem really down, what happen!?

Well it just….. I don’t know……. Its kind of……. You know……… I think………. I should……Hmm

That explains a lot, are you ok with all that? Or is there something you should handle. Well …..we could you know…..!

                        Ya I know we are a team but it just…..hmmm

Let’s take this one thing at a time, Who is our target?

                        Me

Ok who are we with

                        Me

Whose fault is it

                                Mine

And you are blaming yourself for what again

                                For being me

You think that bad. My dear didi, You are unique. The sweetest most beautiful thing anyone can ever have my dear dear sister. Now please smile… you are starting your second year in college tomorrow and this is what you are going with hasn’t you first year taught you any thing…

Did you know that the word of ‘didi’ is an actual a reference to an elder sister and you are calling your younger sister an elder sister, that is really bad you need help, have you consulted anyone

There we go there is that annoying little brat that grew up with me. Now tell me what is wrong I meant what is it that got into your head and is driving you crazy, mmm.. I mean Crazier. You look like some lame kid how just lost a fight!

Oh my God that it isn’t it…..
What happen this time!......?

It was easy wasn’t it, telling me that I am unique, that it ok to be you, that you have to first love yourself and all that philosophy. I am having a really hard time believing all that. Well in my case I am sure that it’s all wrong. I just give up I am a total loser

Oh come on you can’t be serious! Every….

                       Yes I am

Every one has issues

Well then how come no one is there for me when I need a friend and I have to be there when everyone needs someone

How asked you to be You don’t…

Because if I don’t go in myself I will always be left alone.

Look I am sorry I shouted. But it’s not easy ok I am not like you have at least one friend how cares. All I have is…. Never mind

Go on we will deal with it let it go ugly.

I try and remember every birthday I can I try to make it as special as I can for them some do remember keep status call and all that but there is not bonding there I mean I am just getting hollow wishes the ones I share with that I try to make it extra special, most of them forget, some of them don’t even do what they do for all their friend It just really alone. I can expect at least what she gives all their friends I can I least expect that. The ones I thought were really special can’t meet me can’t talk to me can’t call me to there house can’t come over here. All I do is do things for them I don’t have anything when I need it, even normal small talk is too much to ask. I am alone if I charge in on anything I get the responsibility praises and all. Even sometimes I even get asked to do thing, not because they know I can because they want it. If I don’t start a conversation I get to sit alone till some one want something to be done otherwise I am invisible. No one can do anything for me but I am supposed to do everything they think they want in the order they want. I am exhausted I don’t want friends that need my help I want one that like sit with me without me asking them or start a conversation once in a while. I can build impression with someone and make them believe that I am good at stuff, That yes I am! But I don’t know what I am anymore

Please don’t give me that rediscover yourself by doing what you love crap. I am way over all that. All I am is a lost person that is seriously damaged and will be left alone if don’t connecting myself and stay connecting. Have to remind my birthday to most I have to invite myself to parties I have to be some all-knowing The One to be noticed. What do normal people how have fun feel like how do they bond I really don’t get it why am I living, What am I doing with my life.

Well that is a lot on your plate, Know You have trouble finding friends, the ones you trust and like just have a creamy toping kind of bond what you do for them is not what you get back, they hardly remember and what they do is kind of robotic. The once you are ok with do what they can, well there best, that is what hold you from going bad

I get it Friends are a big issue. Look You have trouble with relationships and I have my studying issues. You know how terrible I am at it. You saw this is all to it in the same way I say it ok you will find a good friend one day how will be as crazzzzy as you are and find time for you and all that. It not going to be easy Life is never easy, Straight Roads never get you anywhere where you are strong rewarded and make you feel like you deserve it. All you can do is move on with you head held high learn what you can along the way. You will learn slowly, you will change. It’s ok people change with time, that is called growing. When you grow out of  pot you get planted in the ground it still hard

So the whole point is to move forward keep growing and be Really Really Really optimistic Isn’t just extortion. Why do people love life then

Why do you think people have dreams….

            Mikky didi dinner’s ready

Yap I am starving

                        Hai…….. thanks!

Aren’t you coming or are you going to sit there….. It ok you know, I can finish your desert for you

What’s that smile about!...?

I guess, even if you don’t gave the same person for every sitation you get at least one person in every situation….Maybe

I Here By Announce ………..!

I Here By Announce ………..!

“Honorable dignitaries, teachers, and friends; I am honored that this gathering of extraordinary thinkers writer and spokespersons have seen me worthy for doing inauguration of the meeting to publish the newest work of one of the greatest writer of the nation.”

“I Asish Mathew Johnson here by announce this meeting inaugurated…….”

There was a moment of stun silence followed by a low sound murmur, a few random courses of hesitant clapping followed. The speaker continued when the clapping stopped, “Now that I have a clean slate no expectations, no conjunction, no questions; a mass ready to listen to what I say and take that in. Now I can speak to you and this is my inaugural speech.”

There it was; like a student will sit on his first class ever, every one of those well-educated and renounced people sat their eagerly listening to a man the age of their kid maybe, to what he was going to say.

“I have been through nothing when I compare it to all of your experience. I know every one of you have gone through a struggle to be here. All I did was live with two very supportive parents how did fight occasionally; I mean that happens everywhere I blamed every one of my behavioral flaws on that. I didn’t study when I had all the resources and more I could have done much better I had worked I dreamed.”

“Having failed once in 5^th grade and just passing 10^th grade somehow going through 12^th and finally taking 7 years to complete a 4 year course I stand before you. I mean moving through all those failures and trying out different outcomes for each incident preparing for he next I couldn’t work had enough on my grades. Experimenting cost me a lot. I was trying to be a better person every day that I searched for flaws in my behavior, trying to learn and discover myself that I didn’t learn my lessons. When I forced myself out of depression and lent out my hand to help anyone who asked for it no matter if they were just coming to me for what I can give, rather than as a friend I blamed myself for being a bad friend that no one deemed me fit as a friend.”

“I thought love will change my life so I tried that out and I had to keep the promise I gave to my parents so I did not go after that to. I was still waiting for love. I thought I could write on live and explain precisely what it was. That was a selfish though. ‘If I knew what love was I could find it easily.’ That is how I started writing the book that got me here. Love shouldn’t be selfish may be that is why wasn’t able to complete my work back then.”

“My pet birds and fish taught me what really love is, my parents showed me what it is to be on the receiving end of the love that I was giving everyone else and everyone else showed me what it is like to be on the receiving end of the love that I was giving my parent. I still remember having posted on my Instagram and Facebook page.. it goes like this under the picture of all my birds and fish, ‘I feel true Love for them as I care and do everything for them without expecting them to do any thing back.’ I did, do and will always love them”

“Being silly sensitive and ignorant learning from mistakes that I chose to make even after being warned I was quite the star where ever I went. As time went by I was exhausted. I wanted to help other but I wanted them to show some care to me to. I guess now I was at a stage similar to what parents feel at old age. Can’t blame them I guess, loving is really exhausting. But when I stand in front of you all loved and respected, with the love of my life sitting right in front of me, I am happy even if everything else was taken away from me, Thank you for showing me my Love”

“I want to thank you for teaching me what the meaning of every lesson that I had learned. Thank you for being there thank you for asking me to be the ‘me’ that I am not the ‘me’ that I might be or the ‘me’ that I was. Everyone can be a better person, but that has to be of the present don’t a great man based on what you are going to be in the future. Today becomes the past and the past become the legend. I started my legacy with me. That Is all I intent to remind Everything starts with a single step everything starts with you. Not the Selfish you, simply The You”

“Thank you for your time, thank you for hearing having already done the inauguration I wish you all well and The Scarlett’s of Life all success………
THANK YOU”