Something that kept me going…. That has to be earned!.....

Something that kept me going…. That has to be earned!.....

Every day went in waste. I did not do well while studying. Did not have a good job, not good at things I kind of love to do. Drams and deeds are different but I love them both. I love technical and I definitely love to write. I keep birds now and I just started growing plants. I might start keeping fish. Farming of different sorts is a passion that I have a calling for. But so is learning about new tech languages programing circuits and all that my job as a techie, of sorts.

But that deep calling that makes me go on beside all set-backs, loss of fish, birds, education, not being able to move forward for a better career, short temperedness and all of that; all the negatives and hopeless thoughts that I can think of; I still keep moving on. Trust me that is not because I am one of many great minds or any such non-sense. I am just some person that found a hope to push myself forward even if, you lost everything all at once or somethings at sometimes regularly intervals. It’s all the same thing. Everyone things there combination of sorrows are the worst. That is why I say that it is all the same. It never feels so but. Sorrow is just sorrow just depends on how to handle it.

This conversation is going of track slightly; a bit irritating is you are sad or depressed now. I am sorry. Just take a deep breath with me ……………. Breathe In …………. Breathe Out…… do it once more… please!..

Now this is a story that I wanted to share with you. Not a story just an experience and a realization.

I get up at 4:30am brush my teeth then go upstairs and puts in the food and water for my birds, P.S I have 5 pairs of them now. Take a bath, get dressed reach the station by about 5:15am. My train comes by 5:35am. After I board the train I usually sleep till I reach Ernakulam. I get down there and go to work. My office is 45 minites away. I reach there by about 9:30am. After work I reach Ernakulam Railway station again and head back to Thiruvallathe my home town, by the 6:30pm train. I reach by about 9:10pm. I go straight upstairs wash the plates of my birds. Wash up, eat, talk for some-time to my parents and sister and maybe watch videos or songs online something like that. Then sleep. That’s it; that is my daily routine. These habits are all that I am now, I kept repeating them.

Well after a while of repeating this over and over again I got tired, really feed-up and yes may be a bit depressed. As this went on and on something really special happen. Oh by the way I lost a few friend during this time ok, that added to this mood of mine and it got a bit worse I think. Well anyway on my way to Ernakulam one such morning. I did not sleep I just kept gazing out side. There was nothing new, just the usual sights. But I noticed something that day that have me a break. A field with golden fog I had seen it before but that day it meant something else. Seeing that after such a long time reminded me of something, taught me something! I miss this sight everyday. I go by seeing all the sorrows that I had that I missed such a beautiful sight. I just had to see the happy things that happen around me and the happy things that I can choose to do.

I am a very badly pushed back person emotionally. All I want to say to all those hopelessly pushing forward people out there reading this one day, like me. If you are looking for a reason to stand up then here is something for you. Beauty is seen, hope is found, and energy is built when you are in need. You see the beauty of something when you are selfless. You find Hope when have nothing to rely on. You build energy and strength to move one when you are willing to step forward. It is never what you are given that matters. It is what You earn.!!

The Gardener Messed Up!

The Gardener Messed Up!

Everyone in this world wants more time don’t they! Don’t worry this is not a, ‘How efficiently you use Time for a Better Tomorrow!’ class. Everyone has been board enough with that lecture. I just want to tell you my experience.

I’ve  a habit of sitting up at night seeing videos, ones like; how to build aquariums, keeping pet birds, wood and metal working, how to use certain tools, technical tutorials, new movies, songs, and things like that. One fine night I was forced to stop all that and go to bed as my phone hit 2% charge.
I was a bit impatient so……
I did use it for a bit longer after plugging it in. Well eventually anyway, I put my phone down and went to bed.

But at the middle of the night there was a guest in the night sky. Quite a big thunder storm, there was heavy rain really loud thunder a pretty bright lightning. The next morning I woke up to see my phone with the led red ; as it should be when it is charging. But it stayed that way even after I unplugged it my screen back light was on, yet it was pitch black no matter what I did.

The screen was also damaged after a accident last day, so I thought I can get them both repaired together. So I gave it for repair and was to get it back after one or one and a half days. In its absence I did not get to do many things like my mid night hobbies chatting and all that and I did not postpone many things as I had no way to inform the other person that I will not be there.  But above all that there was a change in attitude in me. From being a lazy maybe, maybe not person I became a ‘Feel It, Do it, Done!’ person. I did avoid a few tasks that I avoided because I was sick but that day I felt really active even though I was sick.

In my case my phone was a sentence without any full-stop. A parasite maybe, a beneficial one; That was me going a bit overboard right. Which got me thinking, “ Is my phone a potential villain?” I thought on it for a while and it hit me “No!”

At that time maybe, Yes. But for me at some other time Maybe/ Maybe Not. For someone else who knows what? The phone or its use are not the villains, it’s something else.
If you believe that you are not getting enough time as you want to; that just means, ‘You are not Doing Everything that You are Doing in your Life in the Way You Really Want It to be Done.’ You can’t just go around blaming things in general.

This is not generation gap or life style or anything like that. You just forgot something as silly as a weed which grew into a thick mess which makes everything you do in that garden look a bit awkward. Things like using of a mobiles laptops, social media, dressing, so on and so forth.

So do one thing take a little time to yourself look at everything. Make sure that everything is where it should be. Even weed looks good when it is where it should be. Get a gardener or be one. Though it takes time it is for a life time.