When I Learned to Stand Alone!....

When I Learned to Stand Alone!....

            Mostly every day I used to get up in the morning and the first thing to do was wish everyone a good morning, ask people how they were and wish them a good day. Sometimes this was done at noon too, as mostly I get up late. To those in different time zone of course I wish differently. Other than the routine house work it was mostly the same. As a result there was a lot of free time; since I had quite my old job. Looking at different options was the only thing that I had left to do. That was not something enjoyable especially since I got really easy I got a hold of Indeed App it’s really nice and easy to use.

            What do I do with the rest of the day? That includes feeding my fish and birds, take care of my plants, then take a look around and maybe pot a few plants and sit on the couch thinking as writing was a hobby thinking was an important part the daily routine, then there was a lot scrolling through Facebook, looking at birthday, make happy birthday videos for some special friends maybe. Well that is about it. A little later anyone get fed up, naturally! So did I

I am sure some of you can relate when you have nothing to do all day and you just keep scrolling through social media, watching videos plan to start a channel soon and make it a huge hit. This goes on and on and on.

            This is when my texting starts gain. I was doing nothing, so my friends should be able to reach out to me at least once a day or maybe at least once a week. To be honest I used to test people; I text then and see if they at least text me the next day. They should at least start the conversation once in a while. I wait for that get desperate and text them.
I was lowering my self-esteem; I didn’t know that till I got out of the box. You don’t need people to talk to always. Its not that they can’t or they won’t. Its just that when you love doing something you keep doing it. You Love your job you will be good at it.
You just need to be Ok. Not Ok with yourself;  Not Ok with others doing what they are doing; Not Ok to stand alone; you need to be Ok to do something that you dream about so that you are not talking about one day, you will be on a path that excites for you. A path that makes you feel like doing more of it, more of different things than wait, wish and worry. When you are on this path you will feel a peaceful need to grow, a drive towards perfection, and an understand of what is the meaning of “Being OK” and the difference of the Ok said to friends so that will stay away from some topics.

            I was so obsessed with talking that, I didn’t pay attention to anything. But then getting out of this cycle was by passing through a partial addiction. One day I downloaded Tik-Tok I was quite shy and was sure to be bad at it. So since I had nothing to do, was down mentally and felt like I had nothing to loose.
It is really a really bad concept to keep as a source of confidence but that sometimes helps, But be careful about it.

            I downloaded Tik-Tok and did a video and got a few like, 5 to be exact. I put it as my status and people started texting me that was something that rarely happens. This got me really happy and did more videos. This was a happy feeling to be appreciated, rare as I hardly did anything, and I blamed other for it to. This appreciation was so huge that it was intoxicating I wanted more of it. The habit grew so fast that I was in Tik-Tok 24x7. Then I was unaware of the fact that addiction was starting and has partly taken over. This went on for three or four week, I could hardly keep track of time. I thought this is was it feels like when you are actually doing something with your life, that I was one a great path. That was so terribly wrong.
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I will do videos, people see then and follow me, I follow then, that was all that was happening I was hardly growing as a person I was not getting confident I only did videos when no one was looking. I could hardly ask someone to take a video for me. I was not growing.
I will not say that everyone in Tik-Tok is addicted to it and it is a waste of time there are many out there who productively use Tik-Tok as a productive platform. I just wasn’t like that and was addicted to it.

If you are confused if you are one the right path or not just think from the beginning; What changed? What is the next step? Is life a small circle with you at the centre? Are seeing room for healthy you growing other than just repetition? If you are wondering about the right answer, when you completed answering these questions, you might want to consider taking help. Which I did, and was really fun, getting help does mean you are mad. I just means you are not an egoistic jerk.

            The way I figured out that I had an addiction was quite a something, It won’t feel like much but still, One day I was gardening and I felt the urge to stop it in mid-way and go do a video as the look that I was in was right for doing a certain topic video. That is when I started to feel like I am having an addiction. Unable to resist that urge I washed my hand took up the phone did the video and came out. But by the time I was done it started raining I couldn’t finish my work.
It’s only when it hits where it hurts that you pay attention to anything, in most of the cases. My garden my birds my fish are the world to me, so when I was not able to gardening right, it hurt. Then I understood my father was saying all along I was getting addicted. People outside the box see a better picture. That is outside the box matters, because what you do at the end goes to society, so make sure to keep an eye on the big picture. Don’t let society discourage you from doing something good but make sure that you are doing good and setting a good example.

For example getting help like counseling is something society stares at. Do yourself a favor, and you stop doing it. One person stops doing it and one less audients that result in one less conversation. When something goes out of habit, bad habits disappear.

            I knew I had an addition but that is not the fault of the app or platform so I found a way around it. I zipped the app saving memory whenever I get time and I want to do a video I unzip it I log in and do the video, thus making it less addictive. Every problem, every addiction is a habit that needs handling, that handling is called help nothing else.

            To find a path to follow that gives hope and joy, that helps you feel right or to put it simply “OK”. To find that path is really hard and simple at the same time the hard side gives strength the simple side gives innovation to complicated ideas. That the turn to the right path and you will know what is next what is joy and what is OK.